Joan Lorraine (Shaw) Kargel

After a beautiful and gently lived life, our mother passed away on August 18, 2025 at age 89.

She slipped away peacefully in the night at the home of her daughter, Kirsten, in rural Aneta, ND. All four of her children were gathered together the evening before to plan a 90th birthday party for her. Quietly excited at the idea of a pie party with all of her children and grandchildren, she maintained, (in the good Norwegian way) “I don’t want to be a bother.”

She held her precious great-granddaughter, Amelia, on her lap, and over the evening, expressed gratitude for a long life full of wonderful and varied experiences, insisting a party was “too much.” Eventually, the sun was setting, and she went to bed with a book and a fresh chocolate chip cookie.

Joan Lorraine Shaw was born February 7, 1936 to Stanley and Lenore (Nordby) Shaw in Park River, ND. Growing up she was called by her middle name, Lorraine. She grew up in Park River with two younger brothers she adored, Donald and John. She graduated from Walsh County Agricultural School (Sienna) in 1954 and was confirmed at Our Saviors Lutheran Church.

During her senior year of high school, she met Duane Kargel from Crystal, ND. (Story has it that he was kissing her best friend on her porch.) They married that summer and soon moved to San Diego, CA, where Duane was stationed in the US Navy. Their first son, Kevin, was born in Park River while on leave. Three more children would follow. The young family lived in Minneapolis, but returned to Park River often. When all of the children were school age, they lived briefly in Grafton, ND and eventually settled down in Drayton, ND.

If asked to describe herself, she’d say “I’m a mom. Maybe an artist, but first Mom.” It was her best role. Joan instilled in her children curiosity about the world around them, and especially nature and the arts.

Above all, she taught a respect for all God’s creatures. She insisted that we take all house spiders, ladybugs, and occasional moths outside. Lost kittens, dogs, and birds with broken wings took priority over anything as trivial as supper time or laundry. She led by example, always a book in her back pocket and a pencil over her ear. Outside, we studied and traced leaves, collected rocks, played games with our shadows.

One thing our mother never allowed us to say was, “We’re bored.” Her response was, “Creative people are not bored, and you are creative.” Many hours were spent lying in the grass looking at clouds and making up stories. In the winter, we built snow creatures or sculptures, never just snowmen, and read many books in later years. If a book was banned, it was on our shelf.

Joan had a passion for social justice, and early on, we could make origami peace cranes and protest posters with our eyes closed. In July, she attended the No Kings rally in Grand Forks, sitting in her walker, holding a sign and a flag.

As young teenagers, while our father worked at his furniture store in Drayton, our mother took us tent camping around Midwest parks and across Canada. Her favorite spot was Riding Mountain National Park, and we knew it well. The second weekend in July was always penciled in as “Winnipeg Folk Festival.” We brought friends and (unthinkable now) picked up hitchhikers along the way. Our dog, Hippie, was front and center in our van.

Growing up, our home was always beautiful and gracious, or so we thought it was, perhaps it was just quirky. Tapestries were drapes, beaded macramé adorned doorways, and we were encouraged to design and paint murals on any blank walls. Friends were always welcome, and came and went as freely as fireflies. Joan somehow incorporated traditional mothering skills that balanced everything out for us. She made beautiful pies, gardened, held book clubs, and collected antiques to refinish.

We didn’t figure it out until later that she wasn’t exactly like other moms, which didn’t matter because everything she did was done with kindness, grace, compassion and bare feet. She loved us all fiercely and was always there when we needed her the most, providing support, wisdom and love in abundance.

When the three oldest children were out of the house, she and Duane parted ways. Kirsten was 15, and mother and daughter relocated to Grand Forks. Both started college at UND. Joan tried her hand at printmaking, throwing pottery, doing meticulously detailed pen-and-ink drawings, and eventually settled on metal-smithing. She graduated with a degree in fine arts, with a focus on small metals. Her first job out of college was as a bench jeweler at McPherson‘s Jewelry. She later opened a storefront shop downtown called Metalsmith with her friend and partner, Eliot Glassheim.

When her own mother, Lenore, got cancer, Joan returned to Park River to care for her until her passing. She then visited her children on rotation and was soon a devoted and caring grandmother. This was a role she cherished and excelled at. For the past 20 years, Joan rotated between Kris’s house in North Dakota and Kim’s, most recently residing in Climax, with occasional vacations to Kevin’s and Keith’s.

Joan loved the smell of lilacs, morning glories, and trumpet vines, sitting on the back porch swing several times a day. Two weeks ago, she reported a tiny black hummingbird was coming around to the feeder for the first time ever. She was honored by his presence and considered him a special gift. She said, “I think he wants me to follow him.” She was apparently right.

“Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6

Joan’s body was donated to UND Medical School. She always told a story that when at the University, her anatomy class went on field trips to the medical school to study and draw muscles and bones. She felt deeply touched by the generosity of these anonymous people and vowed to do the same for future art students.

Joan is survived by four children, Kevin (Michelle) Kargel - Bemidji, MN, Kim Tweten - Climax, MN, Keith (Katie) Kargel - Mountain Rest, SD and Kirsten (Dave) Beck - Aneta, ND; nine grandchildren, Carrie (Jeremy) Ruppert - Moorhead, MN, Christopher (Katie) Kargel - Ahipara, New Zealand, Alicia (Jason) Artley - Moorhead, MN, Alexandra Tweten - Los Angeles, CA, Zachary Tweten - Grand Forks, ND, Dylan Beck - Grand Forks, ND, Ian (Larissa) Kargel - Anderson, SC, McKenzie Kargel - Portland, OR, and Anastasia Tweten - Grand Forks, ND; four great-grandchildren, Garren (Nicole) Colegrove - Ft Wainwright, AK, Ian Artley - Moorhead, MN, Amelia Beck - Grand Forks, ND and Cloud Tweten - Grand Forks, ND; and two great-great grandchildren, Harley Jo Colegrove - Ft. Wainwright, AK and Madison Colegrove - Ft. Wainwright, AK.

Joan is also survived by her sister-in-law, Helen Shaw of Baton Rouge, LA; and her nephew, James Shaw of Loranger, LA.

She was preceded in death by her parents, Stanley and Lenore Shaw; her brothers, always deeply missed, Donald Shaw and John Shaw; and her ex-husband, Duane Kargel.

The family wishes any memorials go to Sand Hill Lutheran Ladies Aid, Climax, MN; Climax MN Library; or Lakota Volunteer Fire & Rescue, Lakota, ND.